


The Size of the Fight in the Dog

by Freckles04



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-12 09:06:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/809824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freckles04/pseuds/Freckles04
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate Universe. In a galaxy where Reapers don't exist, Cerberus is focused on raising humanity's profile by whatever means necessary. They're looking to find the next step in human evolution and to do that, they're focused on biotics. Using the methods they perfected at the Teltin facility on Pragia, they've progressed to pitting kidnapped adult biotics against each other, all in the name of finding the trick to pushing humans that much closer to biotics on the level of asaris and other races.</p><p>They didn't count on Kaidan Alenko and Shepard, however.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog._ – Mark Twain
> 
> Many thanks to Sspacer on Tumblr for this idea! I hope you enjoy it.

#  Chapter 1

A fist slammed into his jaw, rattling his brain and making colours dance across his vision. Not shadows; he saw enough of those during his waking hours. No, the colours of the crowd surrounding them bled and flowed—orange and green and yellow, the hues of the lights around the arena, and blue, the flickers of biotics too excited to contain themselves. 

And red. Dark red, bright red, crimson, scarlet, ruby, garnet. Blood red. 

Kaidan fell back a step, shaking his head, his thoughts scattered. _Good way to get killed, Alenko._ He knew it; he _knew_ it, dammit, he’d been doing this too long not to know what would happen if he faltered now. 

He straightened in time for a second punch to connect. 

* * *

“Alenko! Keep your head up! Keep your head _up, goddam—”_

He never saw the blow that knocked him on his ass, only the bullet that ended his squad leader’s life. Laying there, stunned, his brain reverberating with pain and disbelief, he could do nothing but watch as the enemy soldiers approached. He’d held back. He’d held back, and Morrison paid the price. His team had. Dear God, if he’d just let loose…

“Got a survivor over here.” 

The voice was muffled by the breather helmet, sounding almost metallic. Kaidan’s eyes picked out the distinctive yellow mark on the soldier’s shoulder. Cerberus. 

_Shit._

Too late, he tried to struggle. Move. Get away. Anything. His barrier flickered and faded as pain screamed through his brain. A migraine, a bad one, timed perfectly—as usual. 

“Biotic.” The soldier tilted his head. “L3. Maybe L2.” 

“That’d be sweet,” the second soldier said, the one who’d knelt on Kaidan’s arm, holding him immobile. 

“L2s are fucking crazy, man.” 

“Some of them, maybe. But they’ve got powerhouses tucked inside their brains.” The soldier chuckled. “If it doesn’t kill ’em first. Want me to tap him out?” 

The first soldier hesitated, then nodded. “Do it.” 

Kaidan put all of his strength into trying to dislodge his enemies, pushing past the agony in his head. “You sons of bi—”

Something connected with his helmet, some sort of electric current, and he just _wasn’t_ anymore. 

* * *

He’d hardly had time to _understand_ before he stood in a ring, wearing some sort of collar, facing a tattooed woman with wild eyes. Her bald head bore geometric shapes, as did her arms, her legs, her chest—her breasts all but bare—lines and angles intertwined with scars. He saw them immediately; he wondered if anyone else bothered to look. 

When she hit him with a punch hard enough to send him flying across the ring, slamming into the opposite wall, he decided no one had; they’d be too busy trying to survive. 

“I don’t want to fight,” he said, one hand wiping blood away from his mouth, the other held out in a placating gesture. 

“I don’t give a fuck,” she snapped, and launched herself at him. 

Kaidan dodged and backed away, his hands out. Before he’d made it two steps, electricity shuddered through him, originating from the thing around his neck. A scream froze in his throat, the rigid muscles refusing to let it free. 

“Like that?” The woman smiled. “They get pissy if you don’t fight.” 

The electricity released Kaidan and he fell forward, gasping. “They?” 

“Fucking Cerberus. Fucking bastards.” She grunted, the lines of her body growing taut. After a moment, she heaved out a breath and laughed. “They don’t like criticism, either.” 

“Wait…” Kaidan pushed himself to his feet. “Just wait a second.” 

“Nope.” 

His opponent attacked again, another punch aimed at Kaidan’s head. He dodged, kicking out half-heartedly in an attempt to ward off another jolt. 

“Nice,” she said, smiling crookedly. “They’ll catch on. You need to fight, Alliance.” 

“I don’t want to fi— _gah!_ ” 

Kaidan’s body stiffened again, painfully this time. They’d increased the voltage. When the electricity ceased, he collapsed forward like a puppet with its strings cut. 

His opponent didn’t hesitate this time or waste time explaining how things worked. She dove in, vicious, blue-limned feet seeking out his ribs. He cried out as one cracked, his vision growing spotty with the pain. Another shock ricocheted through him. Another kick connected, another rib popped. Another shock. A punch thundered into his ear, only partially deflected by the arms he’d raised to protect his head. The impact rang in his skull. 

Another shock. 

Another blow. 

Another shock. 

“Fucker, fight me!” 

Another blow. 

“I’m gonna kill you if you don’t fight back.” 

Another shock. 

“Fucking pussy. Lay there, then. Asshole. Doesn’t matter.” 

He looked up, his vision blurry. A sparking blue fist hovered over him, suspended, unmoving. This was it, then. The end. MIA and now KIA, not that anyone would ever know. Not his mom, not his dad. Did the Alliance know? Did they care? Or would they just brush him under the metaphorical carpet, like all the kids that had died at BAaT? 

Like hell they would. 

His biotics flared, a corona of blue that blotted out the remainder of his vision. Air whistled in front of her fist like a shuttle descending too hot, too fast. He grabbed her with two mental hands and wrenched them apart, pulling with all the weight of power he could muster. 

She didn’t have time to scream.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey. Hey, wake up.” 

Kaidan groaned, lifting a hand to ward away the voice. He didn’t want to wake up. The fuzzy blackness of sleep was much better. Pain couldn’t touch him there; nor regret or horror. 

_Horror_. 

“I don’t want to fight!” he gasped, his eyes flying open as he pushed away from the voice beside him. 

A wall halted his retreat—pain, too, radiating out from his chest and head, but more subdued than it should be. He’d had the shit kicked out of him. He’d overextended himself biotically. He should be feeling it. Instead, as the initial adrenaline from waking suddenly faded, he felt kind of…kind of detached. But not. 

_Weird._

“I’m not going to hurt you.” 

It took effort to focus on the woman who spoke. Not just because of the gloom that made everything indistinct, but because his gaze kept wanting to wander. It caught on her hair, though—bright red, ragged hair that managed to grab whatever light existed in this hole and blink it back at him, almost like an invitation. 

_What the…_

“I’m high.” A bark of laughter jolted from him. “I’m fucking high.” 

The woman smiled crookedly. “You won the fight. That’s your reward.” 

“Haven’t been high…” His eyes widened. “Almost twenty years.” 

“Had a checkered past, huh.” 

“More like striped,” Kaidan said, laying back. Another chuckle escaped him. 

Part of him was horrified that he was laughing; another part knew he couldn’t do anything about it. And a third wanted to stare at the redhead until sleep claimed him. 

_I have a lot of parts._

“What’s your name?” 

Kaidan blinked, refocusing on the woman settled across from him. “’Lenko.” _No._ “ _Ah_ -lenko.” 

“You got the good drugs, I see, if you’re having trouble with your own name.” 

He chuckled. “Yeah. Yeah, guess I did. How about you?” 

She grinned. “I’m fighting in fifteen, so we’ll see.” 

“No, I mean, what’s your name?” 

She shrugged. “Shepard.” 

The name tickled and poked. He knew it. From somewhere, somehow… “You’re Alliance too?” 

“Yeah.” She nodded, bending one leg to drape her elbow on her upraised knee. “Pretty sure that’s why they stuck you in here with me. Us honourable Alliance folks won’t kill each other before the match, and there are only so many bunks available.” 

He chuckled at that, too, though he knew it wasn’t funny. Muted questions circled in his mind, unable to find purchase. Whys and hows and whats. He didn’t try to pin them down; he knew himself well enough, even in orbit like he was, that they’d come back, eventually. 

“Shepard!” 

The name rang through the metal and plastic of their cell, reverberating unpleasantly. His cell mate took a breath and pushed up. 

“My adoring public demands me,” she said, starting for the gate. 

“Hey. Shepard.” He paused as she turned, struck suddenly by the clarity in her jade green eyes. He opened his mouth, then closed it, unsure of what he’d been about to say. After a moment that seemed to stretch an hour, he said, “Be careful.” 

“I’m coming back,” she said. “And you’d better have your ass off that bunk, Alenko, because I’m going to want it.” 

Kaidan grinned, the drugs making the expression wider and less controlled than he’d let it be, normally. “Yes, Ma’am.” 

* * *

When Shepard returned, she sparked. 

Not just biotically, and not just from the drugs coursing through her system as her reward, but from the battle itself. Kaidan sat on the floor, against the wall—having vacated the bed as she’d asked—and watched as she stepped in. A queen returning to her castle. No, wait—not quite that. Despite the surety of her steps and the excitement in her eyes, she didn’t carry herself like royalty. 

_And since when do you know anything about royalty, Alenko? Hell, since when do you know anything about women?_

“Good fight?” he asked, his voice rougher than it had been earlier. The fog of the drugs had lifted, leaving pain behind. Nothing he couldn’t handle; they’d fixed him up pretty good with medigel. Only the most stubborn aches remained. 

“I’m alive,” Shepard pointed out, shrugging. “Guess that makes it good.” 

“Any fight you walk away from, eh?” 

“I’ll settle for any fight where I’m still breathing after.” She tilted her head, a different sort of spark entering her gaze. “You’ve got a real gravelly thing going on.” 

Kaidan blinked. “I…what?” 

“Your voice. All deep and husky.” 

“Uh…” How the hell was he supposed to respond to _that_? 

“I like it.” 

Shepard rolled her head from side to side and he noted bruises dotting her jaw, and a line extending around her neck. He hadn’t noticed right off, but he supposed her voice was deeper, too, and not because that was her natural timbre. His gaze couldn’t help but follow her hands as they lifted—and started pulling down the zipper on her tunic. His thoughts sputtered and stalled before he clued in that she was just getting comfortable. Had to be. 

Then he met her eyes. 

“Gotta take what you can get, when you can get it,” she said, holding his gaze. “Am I right?” 

“Yeah.” Kaidan blinked. _Don’t look down. Don’t look down_ … “I mean, no. I’m not…I mean, I don’t…”

Her fingers paused. “You’re into men.” 

“Yes?” His brow furrowed as her hands retreated from the zipper. He felt almost like he should apologize…or something. “Look, I’ve never been good at switching gears fast, all right? At least off the battlefield.” 

“Hey, it’s cool.” Shepard shrugged. “I assumed, and I shouldn’t have.” 

“No, that’s not…dammit.” 

He lifted a hand to rub his forehead, wincing as the slight movement pulled his ribs. He inhaled deeply, giving himself a few precious seconds to just think. Not all that easy, considering a far bit of blood had abandoned his brain for reaches further south. 

“I don’t do casual,” he said, finally. “Never have. Maybe I’m old-fashioned—hell, I know I am. But it’s a lesson I learned, you know?” He looked at the cell door, grimacing. “And it’s not like this is the best spot for…anything.” 

“Old-fashioned and not into exhibitionism?” Shepard’s expression turned rueful. “Well, I’m screwed. And not in the way I want to be.” 

Kaidan choked on the startled laughter that jolted from him. “Ah, yeah. Sorry?” 

Shepard grinned and shook her head. Her shoulders shook and it took Kaidan a moment to realize she was laughing silently. “And so you should be!” She lifted a hand and waved it back and forth. “No, I will be in the morning, probably, when this high wears off.” 

She settled onto the cot, only a slight catch and hiss in her breath indicating that she had some hurts not quite covered by whatever the hell Cerberus had pumped into her. A few moments passed as she shifted, trying to get comfortable. Even as he watched, Kaidan berated himself for doing so; a gentleman would look away, right? And not try to get a glimpse of the milky skin that winked at him through the gap in her tunic. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have said no. 

_Christ, Alenko._

“How’re you feeling?” 

Kaidan cleared his throat, forcing thoughts of breasts and what could have been away. “Clearer. You?” 

“Pleasantly fuzzy.” She smiled. “Kind of used to it, though. I can still think. I think.” 

“How long have you been here?” 

Her brow twitched. “I don’t know. I tried counting the days, scratches on the wall, but sometimes…you just lose some.” 

“What, like after a fight? Injuries?” 

She shook her head, a slow, careful movement. “No. The men in white uniforms come, and you’re screwed.” She grinned. “Not in the good way then, either. I don’t remember where they took me or what they did. It’s…” Her grin fell away. “Gone. I have a vague sense that time passed, but then I was back in my cell and I just don’t know. It pisses me off.” 

Well, that sounded…not good. “How often does that happen?” 

A hand lifted, waving. “Enough. Look.” She rolled onto her side to regard him, her green eyes almost luminous in the dim light. “I know this is all new and frightening and panic-inducing, but it’s just not something we talk about. All right?” A dark red brow arched and she held his gaze. Then, almost incidentally, her eyes flicked upward. 

_Not something we talk about. Because they’re listening._ “Got it,” Kaidan said. 

She grinned. “Damn, you’re good. Sure you don’t want to get a little closer?” 

Kaidan hesitated. With the knowledge that their captors were listening, maybe that was the one way they could talk without being overheard. He just didn’t know Shepard well enough to figure out how much of her high was real and how much was an act, though. Would she take his agreement as something more? 

“Ask me in the morning,” he said. “After you apologize.” 

Shepard laughed. “I’ll remember that, Alenko.”


	3. Chapter 3

A migraine in a jail cell had to be just about the worst thing, he decided. Every recourse he might take aboard a ship was denied him. He couldn’t turn off all the lights and lay in darkness. He couldn’t stand in a hot shower, or wrap himself in the fluffy, fuzzy blanket he carted with him to every posting. His mom had bought it years ago after some doctor suggested the softness might have some sort of psychosomatic effect. It didn’t work, not really, but it was a real, tangible reminder that there were a couple of people out there that loved him, no matter how messed up his brain was.

Being stuck in the cell with Shepard meant, obviously, that he couldn’t seek out solitude, either, one of the first things he did when a migraine descended. It didn’t matter how quiet she tried to be, she couldn’t be quiet enough. Every movement echoed; every breath she took reverberated. He huddled in the corner, folded in on himself, trying to remember the breathing techniques he’d practiced for almost twenty years as a half-assed means to control the pain.

He worked through most of his migraines. He’d had to learn how to. But this was a doozy, a result of stress and drugs messing with his system. Even though he’d managed to eat and keep it down, the oatmeal or porridge or whatever the hell the mush had been sat like a stone in his gut.

“Alenko.” The metallic voice bounced through the corridors, off the walls.

Yeah. Of course he’d be called now. Groaning, he forced himself to stand up.

“What? No.” Shepard pushed to her feet, standing in front of him as a guard appeared at the cell door. “He’s sick. He can’t fight.”

“Just a migraine,” Kaidan said, his eyes narrowed against the dim light.

“It’s not ‘just’ anything,” Shepard shot over her shoulder. “You’ve been moaning like a cow in labour for hours.”

 _There's an image_.

“Shepard…”

“No.” A statement, inarguable.

The familiar buzz of electricity permeated the cell, making him wince. Even the slight movement of his hairs standing on end hurt. Shepard’s form went rigid, the muscles in her jaw clenching.

“Back off,” the guard on the other side of the door ordered.

“He’s not fighting,” she insisted. Her body stiffened again. “Fuck you, he’s not fighting! I’ll fight for him.” A squeak left her as Cerberus jolted her again, a sound Kaidan knew she’d hate. “I’ll…fight…for him!”

Clenching his own teeth together, Kaidan nodded at the guard. “Let’s go.”

Shepard growled, a sound of pain and frustration. “Alenko!”

“I’ll be back,” he said. He caught her eyes. “And I’ll want the bed.”

“Goddammit,” Shepard muttered. Sweat beaded on her brow as she fell back a step. Kaidan was about to turn to follow the guard when she jumped forward, pressing a kiss to his lips. “Barrier helps with the jolts,” she whispered against his skin.

“Yeah,” he said, then turned to follow the guard out.

_Should’ve said thanks. Dammit, Alenko._

* * *

He didn’t remember the after; he rarely did. Whatever they pumped into him following a victory probably cost a fortune on the black market. He remembered feeling happy, feeling no pain, feeling all but invincible, but details? Not a chance.

The aches and pains from the fight reacquainted themselves with him upon waking. Not as many as that first fight. He gave his opponents less leeway now. He understood, better than he’d ever wanted to. Kill or be killed; to hesitate, or to try to find another way, meant death.

He shifted, wanting to find a more comfortable position, and froze. The weight leaning against him wasn’t the wall.

“Morning,” Shepard whispered, her lips brushing his ear.

“Hey.” He glanced down quickly, frowning as he saw his jumpsuit remained intact. “We didn’t…”

“Nope. You did treat me to a lovely serenade, though.”

Kaidan sucked in a breath. “I didn’t.”

“You did.” She chuckled. “Something about ‘bright eyes’. It was sweet.”

Kaidan let his eyes drift closed and tried to put the embarrassment out of his mind. He knew Shepard understood he wasn't entirely himself following a fight. “So, if we didn’t…why are you laying on me?”

“First chance we’ve had to talk.” He could barely hear her, even though he could feel her lips and breath brushing the tiny hairs on his ear. “Between the fights, the drugs, the injuries, your migraine…” She shrugged. “Figured I needed to make the most of the time we had.”

“Right.”

It was really warm under the blanket. Biotics ran hotter than normal humans, and his blood was definitely pumping—even if it shouldn’t be. His body seemed content to ignore the fact that the reason Shepard lay draped over him was so they could talk.

“Here’s the deal. There’s a weakness in the collars.”

Kaidan sucked in another breath, then concentrated on letting it out, slowly, in case anyone was watching. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. A joint, beneath the ear. Got hit there once and they rushed in to fix it. Stopped the match.”

Was it just him, or had her nose just nudged his neck?

“Been trying to get opponents to hit me there again. If I can break out of the collar…”

“Yeah.” He figured Shepard was an L3, so she didn’t spike as high as he could—but the fact that she was still here after God knows how many fights said she knew how to handle herself. If she got out of her collar…Cerberus would pay.

“So, in your next fight, try to get hit there. Then get out. Bring the Alliance down on this place.” She nosed him again. “God, you smell good.”

“You feel good.” The confession rumbled out of him before he could stop it.

“Yeah, I thought I detected…something.”

He could hear the smile in her voice, which nudged his own lips to curve—until she shifted so she was straddling him. Her hips flexed, rubbing against him.

“Shepard,” he gasped. His hands sought a path through the tangle of the blanket to cup her ass. To hold her still or encourage her to move again, he couldn’t say.

“I—” Her words dissolved into a moan as she rolled her hips again. “I can stop.” Her eyes opened, fastening on his in the murky light. “If you want me to, Alenko, I can stop.”

“Kaidan,” he said, staring up at her, at those green eyes. A decision teetered in front of him. 

Either of them could die in an hour. Tomorrow. The next day. He couldn’t hold back in the ring; and he couldn’t hold back here, either. By giving it his all in the ring, he’d live. By giving it all here, he’d _live_.

“No," he breathed, "I…I don’t want you to stop.”

Shepard fell forward, her hands braced on either side of him as her lips claimed his. There was nothing slow about the kiss, nothing gently sensual; they both recognized they didn’t have time to draw out their pleasure. Even as Kaidan lost himself in the kiss, thoughts of guards and surveillance pushed away by the dance of Shepard’s tongue and the clack of teeth against teeth, his fingers worked at her jumpsuit. The zipper parted and he wasted no time discovering the curves hidden by the fabric.

She moaned as his thumbs brushed over her nipples, hard, begging for his mouth. Sitting up, he pushed her back just enough that he could capture one stiff peak in his mouth. He sucked on it, played with it, teasing it with his tongue—only to find himself pushed down again, looking up at slightly wild green eyes as Shepard unzipped his clothes and set about exploring on her own.

They kicked off the jumpsuits, eager for more. Kaidan hissed as her warm, wet heat rubbed against his length; she covered his lips with hers as she sank down upon him, stifling her cry and his. His arms banded around her torso, holding her close as her hips flowed, as his rose to meet hers. He whispered things, nonsensical things, caught up in the moment and the feeling of connection to another person. He had not allowed himself enough of this; he had not allowed himself enough opportunities to feel this human.

He tried to hold on, to make sure she came first, but it had been too long and she felt so damned good. His breathing quickened, growing erratic. He breathed her name as his fingers bit into her hip. Then his climax burst through him and he froze, suspended in the moment of perfection, in the moment of ultimate connection. His eyes opened and he saw her watching, that sense of _more_ reflected back at him.

“Kaidan,” she whispered.

He thrust upward, again, his hands on her hips, and she shattered with a gasp that she quickly bit back. She pulsed around him, eliciting a grunt from his lips, before collapsing against his chest. The thud of her heart almost matched his, the rhythm strong, the synchronicity…unexpected.

“It’s Jane,” she said, once their hearts had calmed. “Nobody ever calls me by my first name…but you can. If you want.”

“That was—”

She pressed a finger against his lips. “Don’t. Just…” She swallowed. “Take what we can get, okay?”

He brushed a hand over her cheek, then traced the curve of her ear. “Okay.”

* * *

The men in white suits stormed their cell the next morning. Kaidan jolted awake as the door slammed open, too groggy to act quickly. They shoved him aside and reached for Shepard.

“No!”

Scrambling back to his feet, he grabbed one of the white suits and yanked him away from Jane. She struggled, kicking and punching—doubly so when one of the bastards pulled out a needle.

“No, goddammit!” His biotics flared, then died as electricity shuddered through his system.

They jabbed Shepard with the needle, and there was nothing he could do. He collapsed to the floor and watched, unable to move, as they carried her limp form out of the cell, then slammed the door shut behind them.


End file.
